Resources: They can help us all

Shawn and Katie provided us with some very good situations to consider about making referrals in the Fall.  I decided to answer the questions for the second situation.  This seems to be a fairly moderate problem as far as urgency goes.  Since other people on their floor have recognized the tension and roommate tensions make for an inconducive environment for living/learning.

The first question I would ask Timothy is to expand on what he means by his roommate is "plain crazy."  I would also have him elaborate on what specifically upsets him about his roommate.  The next step would be to ask if he has sat down with his roommate to discuss the issues he just elaborated on.

One thing I would do is to explain to Timothy that roommate problems are very common and talk about different experiences people I know have had with roommate difficulties.  I would also mention that my friends that are CA's (Josh :] ) are experienced in these situations and are always willing to help figure out possible options.  Before referring Timothy to his CA I would suggest that he talks with his roommate by himself first, but if he feels like that is unreasonable, I would suggest seeing if their CA could mediate a conversation between the two of them.

I would then follow-up on the situation by asking Timothy in the following week if he had talked with his roommate and/or CA.

Making referrals is an important part of being a peer mentor.  It is a great feeling when you can help a student with the difficulties of adjusting to college, but at times you have to be mature and recognize when you are not equipped for the job.  Knowing the resources available allows us to help our students more than we could help them.

I found a few quotes that fit well when you need to refer a student to another resource.  These quotes are not only important for the student to know, but us as peer mentors when we are reluctant to recognize when we are not equipped.

"Don't be shy about asking for help.  It doesn't mean you're weak, it only means you're wise."

"Needing help doesn't make you weak, in fact quite the opposite.  It makes you strong, smart, resourceful, and realistic.  Being prideful is a weakness.  Asking for help when you know you're in over your head is STRENGTH. Don't ever forget that!"